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Sunshine…

Here it is nearly 1AM and I am writing a BLOG to all of you who care to read it, hopefully someone is…lol  I realized a lot of things tonight and from recent days past.  I sometimes complain about the weather, and others are bored with their jobs, but I see the sunshine in most things.  I work for the government and we have clients, many that do not have homes.  When I was in Ottawa and was diagnosed and hospitalized, I really had nowhere to go for awhile.   No friends, home or family nearby.  It is during those times that I felt the most alone and years have past and I will always be grateful for the beauty I have created in my life.  My friends are magnificent, many whom are working on this project and my relationship with my family is close and comforting.  I have a beautiful little place to call home and an adorable cat who loves me.  My job pays well and they appreciate me, and the people I work with are really cool indeed.  If we truly look at our lives we can feel the sunshine in something.  I don't find comfort in that it could possibly be worse, but that there always some good and the things that are not so great will always pass.  We are able to wholly create our future with choice.  I have been around people that criticize others for the way they looked or other factors about their character and I would always defend and get personally offended.  I believe we all come from the same place, bipolar, Asian, pregnant, chubby, whatever!  Let's just be bright and warm and try to understand each other.  If we leave our judgements aside it would not only be freeing, but would certainly make our world a much happier place to dwell with one another.  I do love and I am grateful for my life and what I have created as the possibilities are endless and realize that breakdowns are opportunities for breakthroughs.  I may have said that b4 but it is true.  I suggest look for the ray of sunshine and while you are at it why not share it with another?  Besides who doesn't love nice weather? XO Babe

Can't be Serious all the Time – Smoothie and the Couch!

She is already copywritten so she just stopped by to say HEY!!!

She is already copywritten so she just stopped by to say HEY!!!

I can’t believe what I just did!  I was sitting on the couch balancing my strawberry and banana smoothie on my belly as I chatted to my sister via phone and WHAM! …all to the side of me and down the inside of my leather couch!!  OMG!!!  Don’t worry I survived it!  lol Well today I operated on 4 hours sleep, finally slumbered at 6:30AM, it was definitely the bipolar.  I have been worrying about my ma again, she is in ‘lock up’ in the psych ward in Kamloops.  The lock up is the area where you have locks on your doors to keep you safe at night and you are not allowed to leave the hospital.  It is not as scary as it sounds.  My step-father called me last night and he was super depressed and bummed out.  I have never heard him sound so …depressed.  I went to bed around 12AM with thoughts racing through my mind and I concluded that getting my car this August is not as important as seeing mom this weekend.  I know $ will always come around to me somehow and frankly family is extremely important to me.  Westjet ain’t cheap, but heck it will be awesome to see mom’s face when I show up to bring her a smile.  I told daddio I would be there this Friday and I will come home Tuesday.  Things are a little rough in other parts of my life with love etc. but it is all a learning experience.  I would much rather feel anything than nothing at all!  I remember there were times when I could barely taste my food and getting out of the shower was a significant task accomplished for the day.  😛  It ain’t so bad, I trust in my higher power and really believe that all things have a way of harmoniously intertwining to weave into something great.  There are sometimes hurdles along the way, this is definitely one of them.  HUGS TO YOU ALL!!!

Real Friends are with you no matter what…

There have been many times in my life where I thought people were my ‘real’ friends.  I met with an old friend of mine from way back in the day tonight and it had been a long time since we hung out.  It was so refreshing as we were able to truly just be ourselves, like no time had past.  He told me that when he made some bad choices that in the end a lot of his friends seem to have abandoned him.  I knew exactly what he was feeling.  When I was in the hospital barely anyone came to visit me, and my friends no longer wanted to live with me.  Having a mental illness can be a scary thing when you fear you may lose your friends.  I learned a lot through my own experiences with diagnosis and seeking help.  There were a few people that stuck around, and others who would come to the psych ward and play pong, or even a friend who would make me CDs to pass the time; it drove me nuts, my mother called me from Kamloops every day-yes every single day.  Although painful, I realize there was a gift in the illness, which is finding out who really loved me.  It was not those kids down at the club, and certainly not everyone I called a friend.  A friend is someone you can be fully self expressed with and they are there for you no matter what.  Through the highs and the lows and pushing those breakdowns into breakthroughs.  Thanks Jordan for being my friend.  I love you! xo

I am Putting A Call out for Bipolar Babe Recruits!!

Now this is a fierce and impressive lil super hero!  I somehow started calling her ‘Depressed Diva’ as Bipolar Babe needs companions in her fight against stigma.  Diva never even knew me and upon hearing about my project, she instantly jumped on board without any questions, concerns or hesitation and she has created our wonderful babe website!  She spoke of flash, HTML ,and photo editing among numerous other things that make lil sense to me and this girl has really revealed her talent and flair.  Can you believe she never took one training class and simply learned by trial and error at home!!!  She is moving on to an amazing place in her life and she has started her own internet company named ‘Polarity Website Design and Solutions’.  The amount of work this girl put into our ‘baby’ is amazing and she did so to carry the cause forward-to create a world of acceptance and understanding.  I guess after speaking with Diva for over 2 hours tonight, I feel inspired and grateful for having created Bipolar Babe as it was the catalyst for our friendship.  Diva is one of many awesome team members and we are recruiting more!  Bipolar Babe does not designate a role for you but I encourages you to use your skills and abilities and bring your ideas to the project!  Speaking of ideas, next BLOG I will tell you how ‘Bipolar Babe’ got her name!  Hope to hear from you! xo

WELCOME TO BIPOLAR BABE! A BABE IS BORN on May 14, 2009!

This is Andrea, AKA Bipolar Babe, and I want to thank you for taking the time to check out the new site! I believe some people might be shy at first, but once we get this conversation rolling we are gonna kick some serious stigma butt! Please have a look around the site and come back to the blog and let me know what you think, and feel free to post items related to mental illness. Comments, questions, observations, criticisms, etc. We plan to have a chat forum coming soon to further encourage a stigma free conversation about mental illnesses! We just launched so we will be tweaking the site as our wonderful site 'Diva Danielle' continues to do her flash magic.  If you have suggestions please e-mail: [email protected]  This site will be monitored and updated on an ongoing basis, so please visit often. Thank you *sniff* to all of those that made this dream possible…you know who you are.  Most of all thank YOU to all the young people for sharing and listening.  So come on!  Let's get blogging!  Much Hugs!  🙂