It's a long road


I was diagnosed with depression,severe Agoraphobia, anxiety and Bi-Polar Disorder in 2007, I was 32 at the time. My breaking point was when my daughter was born 9 weeks early weighing 2lbs 6oz. She spent two months in hospital, so trying to see her every day, and having 2 other kids at home to take care of, take to school..etc… I think during that time I was almost robot-like, not letting myself feel anything,doing what I was programed to do which was get through these two months and then finally take care of me for the first time in 32 years. It was one of the hardest things to do and of course like everything I procrastinated for months to go to the doctor but I finally did and started the road to help for myself. It explained so much, my life made sense now, I always referred to my growing up as "I was aways in the backseat", now I am beginning to understand. My family has suffered, everyday this condition effects my kids, my husband and friends. No one can understand what i'm thinking or doing. Sometimes it's so hard to get out of bed but my kids keep me going. I am on 3 meds. but not sure they are doing anything. I could seriously go on forever but I will be kind and looking forward to talking with others that understand me. I've never talked to someone else suffering from Bi-Polar, so I hope it will help me understand a little bit more. Cheers:)